Marriage is all about self-discovery. Even more essential is to have a cordial relationship with your spouse when kids around. The very foundation of your relationship can impact your child’s growth to a significant extent. If you have mature conversations with your spouse, never fight in front of your kids, and always look for solutions as one entity, there are more chances for the child to do the same in their relationships. On the contrary, if your child gets to witness a lot of quarrelling, disrespect and physical abuse between the couple, it is more likely to happen for the child to have scarred memories and even mirror the same actions when in the same place. Also, these factors add to the stress factors in kids, leading to low grades, irrational behaviour in schools and even depression in extreme cases.
As per Elizabeth R. Lombardo, Ph.D., a psychologist in Wexford, Pennsylvania, who also happens to be the author of an A Happy You: Your Ultimate Prescription for Happiness believes, “We are so much inclined towards teaching our kids verbally that we forget to keep a check on the actions. Nothing is more powerful than what happens between the mother and father and what the child witnesses.”
Show Some Love To Your Partner
Daniel L. Buccino, a clinical social worker and co-founder of the Baltimore Psychotherapy Institute, says that one of the most significant gifts parents can give their child is the moments of love between the mother and the father. The child flourishes and only becomes a better human being when he/she witnesses their parents bonding beautifully. He believes that a couple no more remains a couple but becomes a mother and a father after having a child. This means they should make their children see how to value other people by teaching the same in their relationship.
If you go as per me, my husband and I are very enthusiastic when it comes to displaying affection onto each other in front of the kids. I also feel it is a must for the parents to go out their way and let their kids see them spending some together, be it hugging or a small peck or kiss to make them believe in love. I think that is a great deal of effort to be friends, lovers and connected partners forever. As per Buccino, “The base of your relationship is the real foundation of the family. It may be difficult now for the kids to get used to the parents spending time alone, with them, but in a longer run, this will make the kids realise the power of love.”
A Relationship Of Equals
I share responsibilities with my spouse, and the same is being taught to our kids. According to Dr Lieberman stated that how he has worked with several kids coming from oppressive homes. This is when the kids learnt the importance of agreeing to your loved ones.
A lot many parents, who are unable to meet their partner’s emotional needs, turn to their kids for support. This mounts pressure on the child, unknowingly in most cases. If the parents are happy, it allows the child to be happy too, with a sense of stability. My most significant learning of being married for two decades is that it is imperative in marriage to retain separate identities, show empathy for your partner, share your feelings, give each other freedom and have fun together to be happy role models for your children.